Crawling For You Honey
by Radd Rach
Summary: How could things go horribly wrong? All I wanted was to be accepted. Be somebody else, do different things for once in my life. But being with him was harder than I imagined. I was a cheater." AH. OOC. TEMP. HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is something I'm trying out.**

**Tell me if you like it!**

Prologue

Bella P.O.V.

I picked up my shirt and that was hanging from the back of the chair and slid it on. I picked up my jeans as well and put them on. I pulled my jacket on over my shirt, while he was putting on his shoes.

He turned around and stared at me with a blank expression on his face. I stared right back and I turned around and left.

I got into my red Chevy and drove off back home.

I pulled into my driveway and my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella, It's Mike. What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just cleaning the house. You?"

"Oh, me neither. I'm not doing anything. So do you want to hang out tonight? It's been awhile since we've had time together and I miss you Bella."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure Mike, I'll be there later. Let me get dressed and I'll head over there. 'Kay?"

"Sure, I love you Bella."

I sucked in a breath and said passively "Love you too Mike."

I hung up and got out of the truck. God, I hated saying that to him but all in all I had to. I was a cheater and a liar.

That's what cheaters did. Well in my opinion. I mean, who knows a cheater better than a cheater right?

I couldn't help myself. I wasn't a bad person at all, by any means. I had straight A's and cleaned my room. I was actually boring. Bella Swan, long brown wavy hair, brown eyes. Average at most.

So when I started all the shenanigans I was surprised at myself. I literally had a whole separate life away from Mike.

And hell if it didn't scare the shit out of me.

I did things I normally wouldn't do.

I was way to shy most of the time and I blushed constantly.

And the crazy thing was, was that I was a horrible liar and I had been hiding everything from Mike, my family, and everyone at school.

They didn't know how much I had changed.

What stuff I did behind their backs.

And the thing is, is that I enjoyed it. Every part of it.

The whole secret thing. Hoping that every moment I wouldn't get caught. It was exhilarating.

But, I didn't see just how wrong everything could go.

**A/N: So?**

**I know this was just a sneak peek, but give me some reviews.**

**Should I continue?**

**Feed my ego! Hahaha.**

**Also, Iam still continuing Expectations. I just have to get the ok from my beta. **


	2. The Beginning

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!

I couldn't wait to update tomorrow so I decided to do another chapter today.

So here it is…

The Beginning.

Bella P.O.V.

I woke up that morning from a dream. A dream that involved white horses, knights in shining armor, a castle, and a princess. How cliché. That's bullshit in real life and everyone knows it. But, there was still some part of me that wanted it to be true, no matter how much I knew it probably never would be.

Getting out of bed, I thought about my dream, getting more disgusted with myself by the minute. I shoved all thoughts of my dream out of my head and hopped into the shower.

I got out of the shower, brushed my teeth, and threw on some jeans, a shirt, and shoes. Walking downstairs I grabbed a pop-tart, my keys, and headed out the door to get in my truck and head on to Forks High.

----*----

As I pulled up to the school parking lot, I saw Mike headed my way. Groaning, I parked and got out as Mike pulled me into a kiss. I didn't really kiss him back, but just enough so that he wouldn't ask questions.

He pulled back and grabbed my hand in his, grinning. "Baby, I missed you."

I winced. "Mike, I just saw you last night. How can you miss me?"

"Well actually I missed what you did to me last night." He said with a wink.

Yea I know, gross. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

"Haha...yea, great." I lied.

"Maybe you could come over again today after school?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't think so. I have to finish biology homework for Mr. Banner. Maybe another night."

"Whatever."

Mike pulled me along to my first class, which was biology. Thank God he was too stupid to have an honors class, so we didn't share any classes except gym.

He leaned over and gave me a peck on the lips before he walked off toward wherever the dummy goes.

Yea, that's what I call love.

I walked in class, taking my seat in the back. Beside me, my best friend Alice sits, but today she wasn't here. Phew, I loved the girl but I really didn't want to hear her incessant chatter today.

Zoning out, I thought about what Mike had said earlier. He had been talking about the blowjob I gave him Sunday night_. Icky. _And the more I thought about it the more sexually frustrated I became. I had gone over to his house that night and we had been watching movies. He had started kissing my neck and put my hand on his dick. Needless to say it progressed from there. He unzipped his pants and I got on my knees and sucked him off. And that was all we had done.

Simple.

Coming back to reality, I pulled my phone out and typed in _his_ number.

_When are you free?_

A couple minutes later, my phone buzzed and I flipped it open.

_Lunch good for you?_

I smiled, relieved as I typed back.

_Lunch is perfect. Meet me out by my locker._

I hit send and waited for his reply.

_Sure thing._

I read the message and sighed as I put my phone back in my pocket. I couldn't wait for lunch.

----*----

My morning classes went by slowly and by the time lunch came, I was on pins and needles.

I literally ran from Mike, as I told him that I needed to go the bathroom. He waved me off and returned to talking to Tyler and Eric.

I stood by my locker, anxiously waiting for him to show up. I was getting nervous by the second, hoping no one would come by and ask me what I was doing.

Hearing footsteps I turned around and there he was. Looking perfectly messy.

He looked at me blandly as he took my hand and drug me into the nearest empty classroom. I felt my back being pressed up against the desk, while he kissed me roughly.

Holy shit, yes! This was what I needed.

I fumbled to get his jeans down while he pulled mine down my legs.

He took my nipple into his mouth, tasting me through the fabric of my shirt. I moaned at the pleasure as he palmed my other tit.

Finally managing to get his jeans and boxers off and my panties, he looked at me and thrust into me quickly.

I gasped and met his thrusts. He pounded into me as his breathing became ragged. My body was sliding across the table with every thrust and fuck did it feel amazing. I met his gaze and he released into me, as I met my own orgasm.

He held me until I stopped shaking and then pulled out.

We got dressed and he looked at me before speaking. "Later, Bella."

Then he walked out.

I followed shortly after.

I looked forward to this every week.

I looked forward to Edward Cullen.

Unattainable. Inaccessible. Beyond my reach.

Something that I needed.

**A/N:**

**So what do you think?**

**I'm trying angst for the first time so review please!!**


	3. Memory Lane

**A/N:**

**I know this may be confusing, but here comes some flashback's.**

**Showing how this came to be.**

Memory Lane

After lunch I had gym with Mike. I'm very uncoordinated, so when I say I fucking loathe gym with a passion, I abso-fucking-lutely mean it with all my heart.

Then after gym I had history and then school was out.

Mike met me by my truck and kissed me before he walked off to his own car. Grimacing, I got into my truck and headed off to my house.

I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some more pop-tarts, Cheez-its, and purple fanta; which by the way, I constantly eat, especially when I have the munchies.

As I got back in my truck my phone beeped letting me know I had a text message.

Opening it, I saw it was from Edward.

_You busy tonight?_

I replied.

_No, your house_

I drove off and as I turned the corner to my house my phone beeped.

_Ok, Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper are over as well. 6:00._

I closed my phone and shut off my truck as I traipsed in my house to get ready.

When Alice and Rose and Emmett and Jasper came over it only meant one thing.

Weed. Booze. Sex.

Well three things, but you get my point.

Like I said, I would never have done these things before. Those five people were the only ones who knew that I smoked weed and drank my ass off.

They didn't know about the whole hook-up-with-Edward thing though. And they never will either. That was my dirty little secret and I intended to keep it that way.

As I went upstairs to take a shower and get dressed, I thought about how all of this even started. How my life changed so profusely and how I started this whole cheating thing.

_*Flashback*_

_I was a junior in high school, and at that time I had just moved to Forks. I was 'the shiny new toy' in school and had started dating Mike Newton because everyone said I should. _

_It was a Friday night and Alice and Jasper were having friends over at her house that night for a party._

_I went over to her house and got ready._

_I had never been to a party before. So I was scared out of my mind, being the shy girl that I was._

_People arrived named Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie, along with Emmett's brother Edward. I had seen them around school, but never actually met them before._

_They brought with them weed and alcohol, something I had never done in my entire life._

_Everyone else started getting drunk and high, except me. Alice asked why and I explained that I never had before._

_She skipped off and went over to Jasper. I looked around the room and my eyes locked with Edward's._

_He was staring right at me, burning a whole right through me with those eyes. I blushed and then looked away._

_Later, I decided to loosen up a bit and start drinking. I later learned that I was a lightweight, but how was I supposed to know then?_

_After 4 shots of vodka and 6 beers I was feeling it alright. It was invigorating and I loved it. I was glad to get out of my shell and try something different. I determined next time I would do weed, just to try it._

_I was falling all over the place and somehow found myself outside. Looking at the stars I felt someone brush my hand._

_I looked over to my side and there he was. Edward Cullen. Drunk in all his glory, and high as fuck._

"_So you're Bella right?" he asked._

"_Uh, yea Iam" I said as I backed away from the close proximity from us._

_He chuckled darkly and then glanced my way._

"_You have a nice ass. Has anyone ever told you that?"_

_I blushed. "N-n-no, they haven't"_

_He looked at me with a blank expression, the same expression I would learn, is one that he always used._

_He grabbed my face and kissed me. Hard. _

_After the initial shock wore off, I kissed him back. He brushed my lower lip with his tongue and I opened my mouth._

_This kiss was like nothing I had ever felt before. Intoxicating. Enthralling. Forbidden. And all thoughts of Mike were gone._

_I wrapped my arms around him and he grabbed my leg and hoisted it up over his hip. I followed suit with my other leg and he held me up while he walked back in the house._

_We passed through everybody but I was too drunk too care and apparently so was he._

_He carried me up the stairs and into the nearest room while we were ripping each other's clothes off._

_First came the shoes, and then pants, followed by shirts and then my bra. We were both completely naked._

_Edward pushed me on the bed and he came up over me. Kissing his way down towards my stomach, stopping at where I needed him most._

_He looked up at me and I nodded my head as he kissed lower before finally licking my pussy._

_He started sucking on my clit furiously while his other hand played with my tit, squeezing the nipple. God, it felt amazing._

_Right on the verge of an orgasm, he pulled away._

_He looked at me with that same blank expression and positioned himself at my entrance._

_The look in my eye gave him permission and he pushed in._

_Pain ripped through me and I yelped at the foreign sensation._

_Edward stopped and pulled out._

"_You're a virgin!?" _

_I gave him a sheepish look. "Yes, is that a problem?"_

"_Well hell yes! You should have told me before."_

_Tears formed in my eyes. "Im sorry." I said._

_He stared at where I was starting to bleed. "Bella, it's alright. Just next time tell me."_

_I nodded and he got up and put back on his clothes._

_Bewildered I said "You're just gonna leave me?"_

_He nodded his head. "Yes Bella, Iam. Here's my number. Whenever you want, give me a call and we can finish what we started."_

_He grinned a crooked grin and walked out._

_I was stunned to say the least. Nevertheless, I got up and put my own clothes back on and walked out behind him._

_I clutched his number in my hand as I made the choice that I knew would change my life forever._

_For the best? I had no idea._

_*Flashback over*_

I got out of the shower and went to go change.

I straightened my hair and put on some eyeliner and mascara.

I grabbed my keys and coat and hollered at Charlie to tell him I was staying at Alice's.

Liar. Yea, I know, but like I said that's what Iam.

I got in my truck and headed out to Edward's.

**A/N:**

**So? **

**Reviews please!! **


	4. Much Better Than Newton

**A/N: Ok, for the record and just so everyone knows I have never done drugs ever.**

**And I don't plan on it, so if I get anything wrong or stupid or whatever, bear with me.**

**I'm not a hermit; I know some of the basics, but no firsthand experiences, as is with drinking for that matter. I don't really like to drink, so I just don't. Plus, I'm no rebel. I don't like breaking the law.**

**Yea, sue me. Haha.**

**I think that's all...**

Much Better Than Newton

I pulled up to Edward's house and everyone else was already there. And by everyone else I meant Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper.

Edward only let's us come to his house, _ever._

Our 'parties' only ever consisted of us 6, and that's the way it would stay.

The other Bella Swan would never do stuff like this.

Anyway, I walked into his house and was greeted by Alice and Jasper, real close to having sex. There were both their shirts on the floor and I hear moaning.

God, could they be a little more noticeable?

I mean at least take it upstairs, _fuck_.

I cleared my throat to get their attention and they abruptly turned their heads and Jasper grinned.

"Bella! What took you so long?" Alice asked, while haphazardly putting back on her shirt, but still hanging on to Jasper.

"Nothing, I guess I was just going slow. Alice, are you drunk already?"

She smiled. "What do yoooou think Bella?"

"Hmph. I'd have to say yes on that one. So, where is everyone else at?"

Jasper answered. "They are in the kitchen."

"Alright." I turned and headed for the kitchen.

As I entered Rose, Emmett, and Edward all had beers in their hands. And by the looks of it, they were all a little tipsy.

Shit, I was fucking later than I realized. I looked at my cell phone.

Well, holy hell, it was almost 7.

They were starting early tonight.

"Bella!" Emmett boomed "Wassup baby girl?"

I laughed. "Um...nothing. Hand me a beer would you?

But, it wasn't Emmett who handed me one, it was Edward.

He was wearing ripped jeans, and an older-than-God hoodie, his eyes downcast.

"Here" he muttered.

"Thanks Edward." I said.

He glanced up at me and met my eyes. I blushed and looked away.

"Well that was fucking weird, Eddie. What's got your panties in a bunch?" Rosalie asked.

I had almost forgotten she was here, as I was so focused on Edward. I mean he was gorgeous, forbidden. But that was it.

Don't get that confused with love. I did not love him at all.

He was just different. He was the something I needed to get away from everyone else.

I looked at Edward and walked out of the kitchen.

They all followed me out and Emmett announced that to not worry, he had the weed.

----*----

About 5 hours later, 10 beers, and 2 bags of weed, we were all fucking gone.

We were all sitting in the living room, just sitting there looking around and all of the sudden Emmett got up and put a DVD that was on the top of the TV.

Fixing to ask Emmett what he put in, I heard moaning and someone sat down next to me.

Edward had plopped down next to me.

"Emmett what the fuck is this?" I asked, referring to the TV.

"Its porn dipshit so shut up and watch."

I complied and felt breath tickling my ear. Edward.

"Bella, we should fuck."

I turned and was surprised at our closeness. He was inches from my face and needless to say I was fucking horny as hell.

I nodded my head and got up and headed upstairs to his bedroom.

I waited and sure enough about 5 minutes later he came up.

He shut the door and twisted towards me. He pulled off his hoodie and stalked towards me. Grabbing my waist, he kissed me sloppily.

Running his hand up my shirt he unclasped my bra and grabbed my tit. I moaned as he kissed me again. Needing more, I pushed back and pulled off my shirt and then unbuttoned my pants and slid them down my legs. Stepping out of them, I unbuttoned Edward's jeans and pulled them down his legs.

I heard Edward swear as I grabbed is hard, swollen cock.

Smiling, I started to run my hand up and down his cock, pumping him.

Edward grabbed my hand and turned me around roughly, so my back was pressing into his chest.

He ran his hands down my sides and up and down my arms causing goose bumps to appear. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it off.

He walked me over to his desk and bent me over it.

He leaned down and breathed into my ear "This is going to be so much better. Much better than that fucking pussy, Newton."

As soon as the words let his mouth he entered me in one, long stroke.

I cried out and heard Edward chuckle behind me.

With Edward pounding into me from behind his desk was hitting the wall with every thrust.

I pushed back into him, shoving him farther inside me, hitting my G-spot.

I could feel my release building up inside me.

I turned around and met Edward's gaze.

His eyes were glazed over and he brought his hand to rub my clit frantically. I was so close and Edward was too.

"Cum for me Bella. Scream my name baby." Edward said in a ragged voice.

I did just that. I was in heaven, screaming his name; my whole body was shaking from that one orgasm as Edward was still hammering into me from behind.

His desk was messed up now, still hitting the wall, chipping the paint on it.

"Fuck" Edward yelled and then he came too.

After coming down from our high, he pulled out and lay down in his bed.

I came up and lay right next to him, both of us sweating

"Much better than Newton." I said.

Edward grinned and I grinned right back

**A/N:**

**So, I didn't really write a lot about the party cause like I said, I don't really do the whole party thing.**

**Been there, done that and can live without it.**

**So, review.**


	5. Holding On

**A/N:**

**Hey y'all! So sorry it's been awhile. My child had taken up much of my attention, as has school and just life itself. *sighs***

**So here is another chapter. Enjoy!**

Holding On

I woke up that morning disoriented and sore. My hips hurt from where they had been hitting Edward's desk from our fucking.

_Edward!_

I sat up quickly and looked around to see that I was still in Edward's room. I yawned and stretched, scanning the room for my clothes and instead I saw Edward sitting in a chair by his desk. I blushed at the thought.

"Well good morning sunshine, I'd thought you never wake up."

"Yea, good morning. Where are my clothes?" I inquired.

"I took the liberty of washing them for you. They should be done drying by now." He replied lazily, while tipping the chair back on two legs.

"Oh, thanks I guess."

"No problem."

This was awkward to say the least. Falling asleep in _Edward's_ bed in _his_ arms was way too personal. This thing we had going on was just based on sex and nothing more. But, yet I liked falling asleep in his arms and waking up to him in the morning. And I didn't like that I liked it.

Not one bit.

"Well do you want them or would you like to walk around naked. Not that I care if you do."

Edward's voice brought me out of my reverie and I nodded my head, blushing at his last remark.

Then Edward got up and went downstairs and came back up with my clothes. He held them out to me and as I went to grab them the sheet fell that was wrapped around me and I clutched at the sheets trying to pull them back up.

Edward chuckled. "What I don't understand Swan, is why you're so embarrassed around me sometimes. We fuck like bunnies and you still blush when I mention something about sex or I see you naked. The only time you don't is when I'm actually fucking you. Now why is that?"

I blushed again. "My attention is otherwise preoccupied at the time I guess." I mumbled under my breath.

"I bet."

"Shut up Cullen and turn the fuck around."

Edward laughed again. "Whatever you say Swan. I'm going downstairs to get some food. When your dressed just come on down."

I nodded and then realized that his mom might be home.

"Edward wait!" I said. "Isn't your mom home?"

"No she's not. She's off at her boyfriend's house."

A wave of relief crashed over me. "Ok, I'll see you downstairs then."

He nodded and then went out the door.

I threw the sheets off and started getting dressed. I wondered if he was thinking about last night. About us. I did. A lot more than I usually did. Edward was just for pleasure, just pleasure I kept telling myself.

But the more I told myself that, the more I told me I was in denial.

_It's not denial if it's the truth._

Edward was nothing to me. Just someone I occasionally fuck and get stoned with.

_That's it. Nothing more._

But my inner voice kept telling me that deep down I knew it was turning into something more and that was something I did not under any circumstances want.

Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I traipsed downstairs and found Edward eating a bowl of cereal.

He glanced up at me with a vacant stare and returned to eating his cereal.

If there was one thing I knew about Edward Cullen, it was that he was kind of emotionless sometimes. Even sometimes when we were having sex, he didn't say much or react to where I could see him.

But, I felt sometimes he was hiding behind a façade, like he was trying not to let the real him out. He didn't like talking to anyone either. Not even Jasper or Emmett.

"Do I look that good?" I heard Edward say.

That pulled me out of my thoughts and I realized that I was staring at Edward.

He smiled and I felt shivers crawl up my spine from that perfect crooked smile. God, he was gorgeous and I wanted to have him for breakfast.

_Get a hold of yourself Bella! You fucking horndog!_

I needed to get out of here quick before something else happened. I needed to think.

I heard the chair scrape the floor as Edward got up and came to stand in front of me. I looked up at him and he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to him for a hot kiss.

My body reacted instantly and I grabbed the back of his neck and shoved him against me forcefully.

I felt Edward smile against my neck while trailing wet kisses down my neck to my collarbone. I shuddered at his touch and I moved my hand down to touch his now prominent erection.

His kisses faltered when I touched him there and he grabbed my leg and hoisted it up around his waist. I then wrapped my other leg around him and he walked me to the counter and sat me down while he shoved his hand up my shirt.

My resolve was crumbling quickly and I needed to really get out of here now.

I pushed Edward away and he looked confused.

"Sorry Edward. I need to go. I'll call you later."

I jumped off the countertop and raced out the door to my truck and drove off, leaving Edward behind.

When I got home I went upstairs to take a shower. I needed all remnants of Edward off of me so I could think clearly.

After getting out of the shower I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a girl who didn't know what she wanted looking back at me.

I was getting myself into something that I didn't think I was ever going to get back out of.

My feelings about Edward were growing stronger and I needed to dissolve them quickly or I was going to end up getting hurt or worse found out by everyone.

I was holding on to Edward because of the way he treated me. He always told me the truth and never held back anything from me.

He showed more emotion with me than anybody else. And for that I appreciated him even more.

I loved his body and the way he didn't give a fuck about what anyone thought about him. And it made me want to be with him, made me want to hold on to whatever I could of him, so maybe he could rub off on me and I could become more fearless.

He was something I wanted to be.

I didn't want to let go of Edward, but I knew I had to. Our little escapades needed to stop before it got any further.

I had to let him go, once and for all.

**A/N:**

**So I hate writing like this.**

**I like conversation flowing stories, not like commentary. I like when people talk, but this needed to be said.**

**So, I should be able to update pretty daily now since it's summer!**

**Keep the reviews coming!**


	6. IMPORTANT

**So, I have some news.**

**This story is going on temporary hiatus.**

**I have 5 other stories that I am working on at this time and I haven't got a lot of feedback on this story.**

**My other stories such as MILF, Bad Girlfriend, and Expectations are taking up all my time and I want to finish those first.**

**So I am sorry for everyone who is reading this story.**

**My time has been consumed with school and a baby.**

**But dont worry; it's only TEMPORARY HIATUS which means I WILL BE CONTINUING this story. Just not right now.**

**So, please bare with me and look for future updates. I am convinced that I should be able to continue this at the end of September, if not sooner.**

**Probably sooner than that, but I don't want to get hopes up. **

**I already have the story worked out in my head, but just not on paper. So have no fear. **

**Again, I WILL be continuing this story.**

**Thanks!**

--Radd Rach


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